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The difference between then and now was that he had been very close to being in love with Nancy. He didn’t really care about Marya that deeply. Marya tried to smile, but it looked forced. ‘I…I like making love with you,’ she said. ‘But even thinking about you makes me crazy. This…this morning, at breakfast, I…I had such a hard time facing my husband and kids. I…I was sure they knew what I was thinking. That’s why I…I’ve tried to stay away from you. But…but I was…I am…too weak, I guess.’ ‘Maybe we ought to stop seeing each other, then,’ Ben said. If having an affair with him was going to cause Marya that much emotional pain, it wasn’t worth it to him to continue their affair. He liked her a lot and didn’t want to hurt her. He especially didn’t want to be the cause of problems in her marriage. Marya nodded, then looked into his eyes. ‘I know I have to stop,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve been telling myself that all day.‘ She took a deep breath and shuddered. ‘But…God help me…I’m not sure I…I. ”“Unless she didn’t intend to surrender?”He shook his head. “No. Martha loved her husband, as I do my wife. Even if she couldn’t live with him, she wouldn’t dream of hurting him. After all, they’ve got their kids and relatives to consider.”“But if it wasn’t planned, she may have panicked, expecting you’d press her to confess.”“No. That’s the thinking of someone who’s desperate; someone who’s considered what to do and has few options available. Not only does she have my counsel, she’s got enough money to hire the best lawyers. Even in the worst case, it would be years before a final legal decision. Her legal team could arrange any number of obstructions. Running makes her look guilty. When she’s caught, she’d sit in jail versus being free. It isn’t logical she’d run.”“So how do you account for her disappearance?”“Personally, I’m worried. I’m afraid she’s either been kidnapped, or we’ll discover her in a few days floating in the East River.”“You realize I’ll have to put an all-points.
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